Spike My Baby Daddy
by Doctor Strangelove
Summary: After the events of "Smashed" a certain blonde woman shows up at Spike's crypt with unexpected news. She's carrying his baby. Which is a great shock to both Spike and Buffy. Mostly because it's Darla that's pregnant.
1. Default Chapter!

TITLE: Spike My Baby Daddy

AUTHOR: Doctor Strangelove (strangelove317@hotmail.com)  
SPOILERS: "Smashed"  
RATING: PG-13  
DESCRIPTION: After the events of "Smashed" a certain blonde girl shows up at Spike's crypt with some unexpected news. She's pregnant with Spike's baby.  
FEEDBACK: It's appreciated.  
DISCLAIMER: It's all Joss's. 

"Spike My Baby Daddy"  
Written by: Doctor Strangelove

Buffy was absolutely disgusted with herself over the previous night's events. She couldn't believe that she had actually slept with Spike. The moment she awoke she slipped on her clothes and headed for home, not waiting for Spike to wake up so that they could have the "morning after" talk.

It was absolutely horrible. She slept with Spike. It wasn't that bad, in fact better than Riley or Angel, but it was _Spike_! Evil Spike. Soulless Spike. Sexy Billy Idol-ish Spike. _Well_, she thought, _He had done a lot of good. He protected Dawn's secret against Glory. He didn't feed off of disaster victims that one time. Plus he was very understanding and supportive of the whole Heaven thing. What am I saying? It's _Spike_!_

Buffy slipped in the front door of the house and started to head up the stairs. "Buffy?"

The Slayer turned around and looked at her kid sister at the bottom of the stairs. Behind her was a groggy Tara.

"Dawn! Tara! Hey! What's up?" Buffy tried to ask nonchalantly.

"Um, we lost track of time and fell asleep on the couch." Tara explained. "Did you just get in?"

"NO!" Buffy shouted, "I got back last night. I saw you two asleep and didn't want to disturb you."

"What time did you get in?" Dawn asked.

"About midnight." 

"But, we were still up then."

_Damn, _Buffy thought. _Need a cover story. _"No you weren't."

"Buffy, yes we were."

"Dawn, I think I have a better idea of when you two were asleep than you do."

Dawn pondered that for a moment before replying, "But Buffy, I remember the clock saying 12:30."

"That clock's wrong."

"Oh. Okay. So why are you wearing the same clothes as last night?" 

"I was so tired I just fell asleep in them."

"Oh, okay."

"Great. Um, Tara, I'm gonna go get a shower. You can stay here if you want."

"All right. Is Willow home?"

"I don't think so."

"Okay, I'll stay."

"Great!" So as Tara and Dawn headed into the living room Buffy ran up the stairs to wash the Spike off of her.

Spike woke up and looked around at his surroundings. He was laying in the rubble of what had last night been an abandoned building. He was also naked. Spike took a minute to take all of that in. 

"Huh. I wonder what..." Then he remembered what had happened between him and Buffy the previous night. "Oh, right the sex."

Spike stood up and proceeded to gather his clothes. _I should probably get home. _He flung the door open and was bathed in sunlight. He leapt to the side of the room and batted out the flames. "Or I could just hang around a while."

Buffy rubbed her body with soap as the warm water washed over her. 

_See, this is good, _She thought, _Just wash away all that happened with Spike. Get him out of my mind and off of my flesh. Get that warm scent muscular body with a nice tight- no! Don't think of Spike and the delicious sex you had with him. God, what's wrong with me?_

"Gee," Buffy wondered aloud, "Maybe I really do have feelings for Spi- GAH!" Buffy clutched her stomach as a wave of intense pain rocked through her. She sank to the floor of the shower and moaned as the water washed away all traces of her encounter with Spike.

"Hey, Tara!" Buffy ran down the stairs and grabbed her coat. "I'm going out for a little while. Think you can watch Dawn?"

"Sure, Buffy, but where are you..." Tara asked as she walked into the foyer, but Buffy was already gone.

Spike lay in his crypt reminiscing about his previous rendezvous with Buffy. The sight, the sound, the smell, the taste, touch. Delicious alliteration-y goodness. "Ah, Buffy." He sighed.

"Yes?" 

Spike looked up and saw that the petite blonde girl was standing at the entrance to his crypt. "Speak of the devil. Didn't figure I'd be seeing you anytime soon. After out little session last night."

Buffy nodded, "That's what I wanted to talk to you about." Buffy shut the crypt door and walked over to sit next to Spike. "It got me thinking. About all the stuff you've said. About something between us?"

Spike perked up at this, "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Well, you see the thing is... well you might be right. And I..." Buffy struggled for the words. "I- UGH!" Buffy grabbed her stomach once more and fell to the floor.

"Buffy!" Spike fell to his knees and wrapped his arms around the Slayer. "Are you all right?"

Buffy groaned and sat up, "Yeah. I think so. It happened earlier today. I think I might be coming down with something. Spike, there's, what I wanted to say was..." Buffy gave up on the use of words when she pulled Spike into a passionate kiss.

"Buffy," Spike said after she pulled away. The two stared at each other before embracing once more. There was a fumbling of hands and a shedding of clothing as Buffy and Spike decided to have a repeat performance of the previous night's show.

"Tara?" The witch looked down at the small girl seated next to her.

"What is it Dawnie?"

"It's Buffy. Does she seem okay to you?"

"Well, what do you mean does she seem okay?"

"I mean, she seemed really different lately."

"Well, after being pulled out of Heaven anyone would seem weird."

"It's not that. Weirder than usual. Especially today. When she left she seemed, I don't know, glowing."

"Don't worry, Dawn, I'm sure she's fine."

"Yeah, probably."

Dawn rested her head on Tara's shoulder as the continued to watch television in silence.

"Spike," Buffy smiled after it was over, "There was so much I wanted to say. Last night got me thinking about so many things. So much has happened, you see. I knew this morning that I had to see you again. I don't really know how to say this, Spike. You see I'm-"

Buffy's words were cut short as the crypt door was flung open. Both Buffy and Spike stared in shock, for you see at the door was, "Darla?"

"Hello," Darla cooed as she rubbed her very pregnant belly, "Daddy."


	2. Flashback!

TITLE: Spike My Baby Daddy

AUTHOR: Doctor Strangelove (strangelove317@hotmail.com)  
SPOILERS: "Smashed"  
RATING: PG-13  
DESCRIPTION: After the events of "Smashed" a certain blonde girl shows up at Spike's crypt with some unexpected news. She's pregnant with Spike's baby.  
FEEDBACK: It's appreciated.  
DISCLAIMER: It's all Joss's. 

"Spike My Baby Daddy"  
Written by: Doctor Strangelove

_** Sunnydale, California  
Summer of 2001**_

__Spike was deeply, deeply troubled. His heart was filled with all sorts of pain and heartbreak and heartburn because he ate some spicy food. The poor boy was wallowing deep in self-pity and overall sadness. The cable was out on his TV.

Oh, yeah, and Buffy had died. That too.

Spike finished off the bottle of cheap alcohol, because everyone knows that cheap alcohol is the best for drinking binges. Because you're drinking a lot of it and it's, you know, cheap. Anyway, Spike finished off the bottle and threw it down to the ground of his crypt. It shattered into pieces, much like Spike's heart had done when Buffy died, except his heart didn't literally break. That's would've been weird.

Anyway, as Spike was busy drinking himself into some sort of pain-numbing, drunken stupor, the door to his crypt was flung open. Spike blinked as he saw a beautiful blonde woman standing there. "Buffy?" He asked, his voice quivering with the sheer emotion it possessed

"No," Came the cool, icy response. "It's not Buffy."

As the woman walked into the crypt and over to Spike, the platinum-haired vamp got a good look. "Darla?" She just smiled at him. "What are you doing here?"

Darla sat down on the tomb next to Spike, "I take it Drusilla didn't do too well in converting you. Either that or she got distracted and never showed up."

"No, she showed. But I tied her up and there was a life and death ultimatum. It was a whole thing."

"Ah. So then you know about the plan to bring back the Fab Four?"

"The Beatles?"

Darla groaned, "No, stupid. Us." Off Spike's blank stare she clarified, "You, me, Drusilla, and Angelus."

"Oh, right that. How's that working out?"

"I slept with Angel."

"So, then he's..."

"No. He's not."

"Ah." After an awkward pause, Spike pulled out another bottle and offered it to Darla. "Drink?"

"No thanks."

Another awkward pause. "So, what are you doing here?"

"Well, I figured that since Drusilla and Angelus failed that maybe you and I could hook up and go on a killing spree. I think I'll have some of that drink now." Darla yanked the bottle out of Spike's hand and quickly drained.

"Really?"

"Yes," Darla giggle. Girl can't hold her liquor. 

"So, I guess then that-"

Darla cut hum off, "Oh, come here."

"Bloody hell!" Darla jumped onto Spike and smothered his body with kisses as she begin to remove her top.

_** Six minutes and twenty-nine seconds later**_

Darla stared at the ceiling with a very bored look on her face. Spike turned to her and would've blushed if he could. "Sorry 'bout that."

Darla stood up and started gathering her clothes. "No, it's fine." As she fastened her bra back on she turned to face Spike. "You know, that whole killing spree thing? I'm thinking maybe we shouldn't."

Spike nodded. "Yeah. Maybe."

Darla started to back towards the door. "Well, it was good seeing you again. You know, outside of a flashback. We should do it again sometime."

"Yeah."

"Well, not _it_, but... You know. The rest."

"Yeah."

The two stared at each other. "Well."

"Yeah."

"Bye!"

"Yeah, bye."

_** Sunnydale, California  
Fall of 2001**_

****"Well," Buffy stared at the two sheepish vampires. "That was... contrived."

Spike nodded, "Mmm, wasn't it though?"

Buffy sat down on the floor, trying to get her thoughts straight, "Wait, Darla, when did you even become alive again?"

"Um, you were about finishing up your first year of college."

"How do you know when I was in college?"

"Well, I talked to Angel a lot, and he mentioned that you only seem to understand things when they focus on you."

"Oh. Well, I guess that's fair."

Spike nodded in agreement. He's been doing a lot of that. "So, um what are we going to do now?"

Darla raised her hand, "I vote figuring out what the hell is inside me."

Spike nodded in agreement. See what I mean. "I agree."

Buffy thought, "Well, there's only one person I know who might have this sort of experience with unusual births."

"Today, on _The Jerry Springer Show_, "I was mojoed back from the beyond, got killed by my granddaughter, and then got knocked up by great grandson who is in love with my mortal enemy. It's gonna be a slow day people." 


End file.
